Well it's been a while since I have posted a new entry. I have been having a major flair up, not that a minor flair up is anything to take lightly. Basically, I've been feeling like crap; weak legs, muscle spasms (aka spasticity), and the newest member of the club, nerve pain down my spine.
On the positive note, I have joined the YMCA and look forward to getting a little more time in the pool. I attended a water aerobics class last week and I am still recouping from attempting jumping jacks in the pool (not as easy as it seems).
Also on the positive side I have taken up a new hobby, metal detection. I purchased a metal detector from drugstore.com and I am looking forward to spending some quality time with Pooky at the beach as I detect and she digs with her little pail and bucket. First however, I need to verify where I exactly I can utilize our new toy. It seems that although there are lists in both Pinellas and Pasco, through the parks and recreation departments, that name places you are "permitted" to detect I have read that many of my fellow metal detection enthusiasts have been warned by park rangers that metal detectors are "not permitted" in their park. I believe a little more investigating is called for in this case.
I am really excited about trying this out and finding my first bottle cap!
The holes and I will keep you up to date on our metal detecting progress.
Ciao for now,
Cyn
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
CHE SARA' SARA'
Che sara' sara' what ever will be will be, the future's not ours to see, che sara' sara'....
Great song, my father used to sing it all the time. He was in love with Doris Day, which really grossed me out because she was older then him by about 8 years. This song is forever stuck in my head and at times the holes in my head. What was, what is, what will be, the future is not ours to see.
Sometimes, the holes in my head revisit what was. Maybe, it is because my father lives in the land of the past and frequently brings up bitter subjects of what was to my children, his shrink, random people on the street, etc. I try to forget but there it is in my face or on the other end of the phone and it won't go away. Ask my children, they tell their grandfather that they have to go when he starts reminiscing of the nasties of our past but he just ignores their pleas and continues. When we go over there the pictures come out, the one of his friend, Phyllis, who was murdered by a piece of crap rapist 27 years ago. It bothers my children when he does this and it drives me insane.
Unfortunately the past is always there. For those who say the past is the past and you must live in the present must have lived an uneventful what was.
I on the other hand, keep the past bottled up and locked away to keep my loved ones safe from the truth, there are some really psycho people out there. They hide in dark alleys, creep in through bedroom windows, but mostly they live with you or next door. It is a sad fact that most perpetrators of indescribable crimes are people that you know.
Many times over I have experienced shock, loss, regret, anger, and the senseless deaths of people I have known or known of and it really sucks.
Che sara' sara....what will be will be....
I can only hope that one day I will make it to the present but for now I live my facade of being normal and occasionally put my cellphone on silent and throw it in a drawer for good measures so I don't feel compelled t answer it when my father calls.
Great song, my father used to sing it all the time. He was in love with Doris Day, which really grossed me out because she was older then him by about 8 years. This song is forever stuck in my head and at times the holes in my head. What was, what is, what will be, the future is not ours to see.
Sometimes, the holes in my head revisit what was. Maybe, it is because my father lives in the land of the past and frequently brings up bitter subjects of what was to my children, his shrink, random people on the street, etc. I try to forget but there it is in my face or on the other end of the phone and it won't go away. Ask my children, they tell their grandfather that they have to go when he starts reminiscing of the nasties of our past but he just ignores their pleas and continues. When we go over there the pictures come out, the one of his friend, Phyllis, who was murdered by a piece of crap rapist 27 years ago. It bothers my children when he does this and it drives me insane.
Unfortunately the past is always there. For those who say the past is the past and you must live in the present must have lived an uneventful what was.
I on the other hand, keep the past bottled up and locked away to keep my loved ones safe from the truth, there are some really psycho people out there. They hide in dark alleys, creep in through bedroom windows, but mostly they live with you or next door. It is a sad fact that most perpetrators of indescribable crimes are people that you know.
Many times over I have experienced shock, loss, regret, anger, and the senseless deaths of people I have known or known of and it really sucks.
Che sara' sara....what will be will be....
I can only hope that one day I will make it to the present but for now I live my facade of being normal and occasionally put my cellphone on silent and throw it in a drawer for good measures so I don't feel compelled t answer it when my father calls.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
It is Time for Change
Reading some of the stories that Americans have told on President Obama's Healthcare website, only validates the sad state that this country is in with regards to healthcare.
Why are there so many Americans that are uninsured or underinsured out there???
We need change.
How do we begin? By having our government fulfill the promises made in our Declaration of Independence? Our natural rights state that we have the right to Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. When our fore-fathers stated these rights could they see into the future that a right to Life would be persuent only to those who have adequate health care coverage? I highly doubt it.
No where in the Declaration of Independence or the Bill of Rights does it state that we the people only have the right to substandard medical care if we do not have medical insurance. Instead this famous phrase has been used in many tortes to dispute the right to life vs prochoice, the death penalty, and many other topics but never the right to Life for those Americans who work day to day to pay their bills and keep their fingers crossed that they don't get sick and lose their jobs.
Let's discuss the people of our country who toil day to day trying to make ends meet so they can afford a roof over their heads and health care insurance only to drop dead at the age of 50 from heart disease/stroke/cancer/ etc. Thousands of Americans WHO HAVE INSURANCE still die. WHY? Because they are "afraid" to go to the doctor. They are intimedated by employers who disapline the sick when they request time off to see a doctor, they humiliate those who utilize their insurance benefits. How dare people actually use their insurance causing the rates to go up for the rest of the company!
NO! How dare employers use willfull disregard towards a human being and their natural rights to LIFE!
I guess we also have a "right" to find another job. What happened to HIPAA? The brain child of our government to protect the rights of employees and allow them to take time off for health reasons? Too many loop holes, like the right to work laws in many states and the employee having to request the time off in advance. "Hi this is Joe and I won't be coming in next week because I am going to have a stroke and will require 6 weeks off of work. Where do I sign the paperwork in triplicate" How sad.
It is time for a change and no ONE person can do it by themselves, instead we need to take a proactive stance and demand our Inalienable rights to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness as promised when our fore-fathers signed the Declaration of Independence, when our founders declared independence from a monarchy and created a democracy called the United States of America.
Why are there so many Americans that are uninsured or underinsured out there???
We need change.
How do we begin? By having our government fulfill the promises made in our Declaration of Independence? Our natural rights state that we have the right to Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. When our fore-fathers stated these rights could they see into the future that a right to Life would be persuent only to those who have adequate health care coverage? I highly doubt it.
No where in the Declaration of Independence or the Bill of Rights does it state that we the people only have the right to substandard medical care if we do not have medical insurance. Instead this famous phrase has been used in many tortes to dispute the right to life vs prochoice, the death penalty, and many other topics but never the right to Life for those Americans who work day to day to pay their bills and keep their fingers crossed that they don't get sick and lose their jobs.
Let's discuss the people of our country who toil day to day trying to make ends meet so they can afford a roof over their heads and health care insurance only to drop dead at the age of 50 from heart disease/stroke/cancer/ etc. Thousands of Americans WHO HAVE INSURANCE still die. WHY? Because they are "afraid" to go to the doctor. They are intimedated by employers who disapline the sick when they request time off to see a doctor, they humiliate those who utilize their insurance benefits. How dare people actually use their insurance causing the rates to go up for the rest of the company!
NO! How dare employers use willfull disregard towards a human being and their natural rights to LIFE!
I guess we also have a "right" to find another job. What happened to HIPAA? The brain child of our government to protect the rights of employees and allow them to take time off for health reasons? Too many loop holes, like the right to work laws in many states and the employee having to request the time off in advance. "Hi this is Joe and I won't be coming in next week because I am going to have a stroke and will require 6 weeks off of work. Where do I sign the paperwork in triplicate" How sad.
It is time for a change and no ONE person can do it by themselves, instead we need to take a proactive stance and demand our Inalienable rights to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness as promised when our fore-fathers signed the Declaration of Independence, when our founders declared independence from a monarchy and created a democracy called the United States of America.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
On this Mother's Day
What I learned from you
On this day my dear mother, I reflect on what you have taught me through the years.
It’s not always about sadness when a mother dies, you must wipe away the tears.
While you where here with me on this plateau of life, you showed me love and compassion; your smile, whit, free spirit soul, as well as a sense of fashion.
We picked berries, played dolls, you brushed my hair, walked many miles through sand and malls; loved to see movies, take trips, shop for antiques, sit on the causeway and watch the squalls.
Mom, you and I we had so many dreams, life isn’t always fair.
Though the time we had together was cut short, I reflect on the memories and with my children I share.
The artist, teacher, musician, actress you once longed to be; if you could see the beautiful free spirits my babies have become, you would see that they truly resemble you and me.
Thank you mom, for your gifts, your grace, beauty, compassion, and love, I hope that on this Mother’s Day, you are smiling with our God in heaven looking after us from above.
I love you always
On this day my dear mother, I reflect on what you have taught me through the years.
It’s not always about sadness when a mother dies, you must wipe away the tears.
While you where here with me on this plateau of life, you showed me love and compassion; your smile, whit, free spirit soul, as well as a sense of fashion.
We picked berries, played dolls, you brushed my hair, walked many miles through sand and malls; loved to see movies, take trips, shop for antiques, sit on the causeway and watch the squalls.
Mom, you and I we had so many dreams, life isn’t always fair.
Though the time we had together was cut short, I reflect on the memories and with my children I share.
The artist, teacher, musician, actress you once longed to be; if you could see the beautiful free spirits my babies have become, you would see that they truly resemble you and me.
Thank you mom, for your gifts, your grace, beauty, compassion, and love, I hope that on this Mother’s Day, you are smiling with our God in heaven looking after us from above.
I love you always
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Swine Flu and living in a glass house
Today, the holes in my head got a tad heated and defensive towards comments on a cruise blog. Sometimes I can't help myself. It is a sickness within a sickness with me, fighter of the underdog, crusader for the weak and ill.
Before I found out I had MS, it was superfund sites. A huge space of brain matter wasted with the knowledge of pcb's, asbestos, and many other yucky toxins all contained loosely around the holes in my head. Having an IQ in the top 5 percent of Americans can sometimes be a handicap in itself. I'm always hungry for more data like a computer.
Anyways, so they where discussing the swine flu epidemic in Mexico and seeing how I am going on a cruise in 2 weeks with my immunity depleted excuse for a body, that by the way still won't fit in a bikini no matter how many slim fasts I devour, I was googling and found the thread in mention. Well, people where telling those with concerns and illnesses that they shouldn't even fly or go on a cruise ship because of the possibility of being contaminated with the 3000 other people on board's germs.
I responded in not so kind words telling the %$*& poster to stop telling people with illnesses to climb under a rock and that I took their words personally.
Thing is, this really made the holes in the head weigh heavily on the fact that I cannot live in a plastic bubble, nor can the millions who also suffer from autoimmune diseases in this country. We can however be cautious and aware of our potential surroundings, ie; going into a country with a swine flu epidemic. I myself will probably choose to stay on the ship when we reach this port.
As the holes dug deeper and deeper into this issue it became apparent that there are many ill people who live in a glass house and live vicariously through others by observing them through an open curtain swimming, riding their bikes, mowing the grass, actually living life. Sad as it sounds, they lock themselves away in an attempt to preserve what life they have left and to avoid premature death by contamination.
Will this happen to me? Have I become so aware and cautious that I will eventually not wander from the safe constraints of my Lysol coated walls I call home?
Returning to the issue of the post in question. The original poster appoligized to me for my taking offense and I inturn advised them that I forgave them. Which ended with a promise of 2 drinks of the day (okay one is suposed to go to my husband but that's between me, you, and the internet) when we get onboard.
Okay, I over reacted, I admit it, sometimes I am a biatch and I can't help it. It's the holes in my head, they have a mind and a tongue of their own sometimes.
It is this authors hope that reading this will bring an awakening to those who choose to live in this manner. I have only one thing to say to you; Did you ever consider that the house could get hit by a tornado or you could get electrocuted taking a shower?
For God's sake, go out and live your life existentially.
Cyn
Before I found out I had MS, it was superfund sites. A huge space of brain matter wasted with the knowledge of pcb's, asbestos, and many other yucky toxins all contained loosely around the holes in my head. Having an IQ in the top 5 percent of Americans can sometimes be a handicap in itself. I'm always hungry for more data like a computer.
Anyways, so they where discussing the swine flu epidemic in Mexico and seeing how I am going on a cruise in 2 weeks with my immunity depleted excuse for a body, that by the way still won't fit in a bikini no matter how many slim fasts I devour, I was googling and found the thread in mention. Well, people where telling those with concerns and illnesses that they shouldn't even fly or go on a cruise ship because of the possibility of being contaminated with the 3000 other people on board's germs.
I responded in not so kind words telling the %$*& poster to stop telling people with illnesses to climb under a rock and that I took their words personally.
Thing is, this really made the holes in the head weigh heavily on the fact that I cannot live in a plastic bubble, nor can the millions who also suffer from autoimmune diseases in this country. We can however be cautious and aware of our potential surroundings, ie; going into a country with a swine flu epidemic. I myself will probably choose to stay on the ship when we reach this port.
As the holes dug deeper and deeper into this issue it became apparent that there are many ill people who live in a glass house and live vicariously through others by observing them through an open curtain swimming, riding their bikes, mowing the grass, actually living life. Sad as it sounds, they lock themselves away in an attempt to preserve what life they have left and to avoid premature death by contamination.
Will this happen to me? Have I become so aware and cautious that I will eventually not wander from the safe constraints of my Lysol coated walls I call home?
Returning to the issue of the post in question. The original poster appoligized to me for my taking offense and I inturn advised them that I forgave them. Which ended with a promise of 2 drinks of the day (okay one is suposed to go to my husband but that's between me, you, and the internet) when we get onboard.
Okay, I over reacted, I admit it, sometimes I am a biatch and I can't help it. It's the holes in my head, they have a mind and a tongue of their own sometimes.
It is this authors hope that reading this will bring an awakening to those who choose to live in this manner. I have only one thing to say to you; Did you ever consider that the house could get hit by a tornado or you could get electrocuted taking a shower?
For God's sake, go out and live your life existentially.
Cyn
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Art comes in many forms
What is art?
To answer this I turned to one of my favorite websites, dictionary.com.
Their definition reads as follows;
Human effort to imitate, supplement, alter, or counteract the work of nature.
and
the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.
Art can imitate in many forms, writing, drawing, painting, and music. Today I discovered a new form, snow sculpture.
Check out this website, http://snowman49707.tripod.com/. The holes in my head where in awe when I went to this website and saw the creative endeavors of this person and the sculptures that they created with ice cold snow.
I spoke with the creator, Kurt and asked him, "how long does it take to make these masterpieces of snow?" His response was 2-3 weeks unless he has help which means he would have to buy the beer. Wow, 2-3 weeks molding tons of snow into basically a work of art. Know I know how he stays warm, the beer lol.Very creative in this authors opinion.
It is refreshing to see people use their god given gifts to create something that will bring joy to so many. Can you imagine smiles on the little children in Kurt's Michigan hometown when they see the many characters which Kurt has created in his front yard?
The holes and I wish to thank Kurt for sharing his site with us. You should check it out too.
BTW, Snoopy was definately my favorite.
Back to working on my next book, hopefully I can bring joy and smiles to everyone who reads my books.
Ciao,
Cyn
To answer this I turned to one of my favorite websites, dictionary.com.
Their definition reads as follows;
Human effort to imitate, supplement, alter, or counteract the work of nature.
and
the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.
Art can imitate in many forms, writing, drawing, painting, and music. Today I discovered a new form, snow sculpture.
Check out this website, http://snowman49707.tripod.com/. The holes in my head where in awe when I went to this website and saw the creative endeavors of this person and the sculptures that they created with ice cold snow.
I spoke with the creator, Kurt and asked him, "how long does it take to make these masterpieces of snow?" His response was 2-3 weeks unless he has help which means he would have to buy the beer. Wow, 2-3 weeks molding tons of snow into basically a work of art. Know I know how he stays warm, the beer lol.Very creative in this authors opinion.
It is refreshing to see people use their god given gifts to create something that will bring joy to so many. Can you imagine smiles on the little children in Kurt's Michigan hometown when they see the many characters which Kurt has created in his front yard?
The holes and I wish to thank Kurt for sharing his site with us. You should check it out too.
BTW, Snoopy was definately my favorite.
Back to working on my next book, hopefully I can bring joy and smiles to everyone who reads my books.
Ciao,
Cyn
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Can't live with them and you can't live with out them
Let's talk teeth.
Teeth are these hard, enamel coated, white substances in your mouth. Their purpose is to chew if you are human. If you are an animal then their purpose is to bite, tear, and then chew. Sometimes humans forget that they are not animals and they tend to bite with them also. My 2 year old can attest to this, she comes home frequently with another child's bite mark on her arm or leg. Sometimes I can actually count the teeth that the aggressor has because the impression is so deep.
We need our teeth, with out them we would be a society of oatmeal eaters instead of carnivores. As the vicodin begins to kick in, the holes in my head and I are pondering why the hell I did not escape from the dentist's chair today and allowed him to remove 2 of my precious teeth.
Reality sinks in and helps to uncloud my brain. " The pain" the holes exclaim. Ah yes, the pain, now I remember that throbbing aching pain that at one point made me drink a portion of liquid codine that was meant to cure a previous bout of bronchitis.
Pain will make you do crazy things. The vicodin has not only numbed the gums that once held teeth but also my brain I fear as I cannot come up with anything cute or funny about pain making me do crazy things. I'll have to leave that for another time.
I am going on a cruise in 6 weeks and it cost quite a bit of money. Before the dentist pulled my teeth I enquired whether this would effect my cruise. He gave me a look like I had asked him if drinking out of a straw would cause a dry socket. He gave me a half attempt at compassion, "Don't smile with your mouth open for the pictures". That's it? $800 and agonizing pain gets me a few vicodin and don't smile for pictures? I can tell he was not a purveyor of philosophy during his Alma matter.
Next comes the bridge work. So let me get this straight, I paid $800 to have them pull 2 teeth out so that I can pay them $800 to put 2 teeth and a crown in? Does this make sense?
The vicodin is finally kicking in.
In closing I would just like to say that the holes and I do hope that when we awake we will realize that the phone call I just had with my eldest was a dream. Why the hell would I want to go out to lunch at a salad bar an hour after having 2 teeth pulled. She takes after my mother who fed me a sardine sandwich right after having 4 baby teeth pulled for braces. Some people are a few crayons short of a full box.
Teeth are these hard, enamel coated, white substances in your mouth. Their purpose is to chew if you are human. If you are an animal then their purpose is to bite, tear, and then chew. Sometimes humans forget that they are not animals and they tend to bite with them also. My 2 year old can attest to this, she comes home frequently with another child's bite mark on her arm or leg. Sometimes I can actually count the teeth that the aggressor has because the impression is so deep.
We need our teeth, with out them we would be a society of oatmeal eaters instead of carnivores. As the vicodin begins to kick in, the holes in my head and I are pondering why the hell I did not escape from the dentist's chair today and allowed him to remove 2 of my precious teeth.
Reality sinks in and helps to uncloud my brain. " The pain" the holes exclaim. Ah yes, the pain, now I remember that throbbing aching pain that at one point made me drink a portion of liquid codine that was meant to cure a previous bout of bronchitis.
Pain will make you do crazy things. The vicodin has not only numbed the gums that once held teeth but also my brain I fear as I cannot come up with anything cute or funny about pain making me do crazy things. I'll have to leave that for another time.
I am going on a cruise in 6 weeks and it cost quite a bit of money. Before the dentist pulled my teeth I enquired whether this would effect my cruise. He gave me a look like I had asked him if drinking out of a straw would cause a dry socket. He gave me a half attempt at compassion, "Don't smile with your mouth open for the pictures". That's it? $800 and agonizing pain gets me a few vicodin and don't smile for pictures? I can tell he was not a purveyor of philosophy during his Alma matter.
Next comes the bridge work. So let me get this straight, I paid $800 to have them pull 2 teeth out so that I can pay them $800 to put 2 teeth and a crown in? Does this make sense?
The vicodin is finally kicking in.
In closing I would just like to say that the holes and I do hope that when we awake we will realize that the phone call I just had with my eldest was a dream. Why the hell would I want to go out to lunch at a salad bar an hour after having 2 teeth pulled. She takes after my mother who fed me a sardine sandwich right after having 4 baby teeth pulled for braces. Some people are a few crayons short of a full box.
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